关于异国恋曲的那些事—德国人如何和自己的伴侣相处

德国人如何和自己的伴侣相处？维持一段恋情或是婚姻从来都不是件容易的事，更不用说「异国恋情」了。现在的我们生活在一个国际化的世界，我们无法避免去面对不同文化间的价值观差异，或是那些因为不同文化所造成的尴尬时刻。因此，这篇文章希望透过德国人的视角来讨论当华人和德国人成为伴侣时，有哪些不同的文化差异。而有趣的是，我们会请我们的德国籍编辑以德国人的视野来帮我们回答到底德国人是怎么想的呢？

柴米油盐酱醋茶！？——德国伴侣的金钱观

问：我们都知道的一句俗谚： 「金钱不是万能，但没有钱却万万不能。」究竟普遍的德国情侣是如何来管理他们的财务呢？

答：在德国，我们说：「金钱不代表能带给你快乐，但它能使你满足。」一般来说，德国的伴侣有不同的管理金钱方式。假如双方的收入皆不错且相近，那么在开销上会互相平分，例如：房租 、 保险、或伙食费。在德国，当伴侣有了小孩后，则有所改变。若太太成为了全职妈妈而因此收入减少，那么先生会愿意提供更多每日的家庭开销。因此，结婚前与结婚后的财务分工没有太大的差别，除非各自的收入有显著的差异。由于德国税务的政策对于已婚的伴侣（相较于单身）有不同的课税方式，因此德国的伴侣或许会根据其而找到对于彼此更公平的方式去处理财务。当然，在德国有时男方会购买礼物给女方，或是请客。总而言之，关于伴侣间的财务管理，在德国“不幸地”（笑）并没有严格的规定或文化行为。

窗明几净是谁的责任！？——德国伴侣的家务分工

问：当伴侣同居时，家务如何分工就更显重要。在德国的伴侣是如何分工的呢?

答：老实说，资金较充裕的伴侣会请清洁工来帮忙打扫，其他人则是平分家务。每个人会依据自己较擅长的家务来分工。当然也会依据每对伴侣的工作时间来分配。例如：男人清洁浴室而女人烫衣服。在德国，职业妇女不会愿意独立完成所有的家务。她们追求平等的权利。

伴侣相处时间的拿捏！？——德国伴侣的闲暇时间

问：每一个人都是独立的个体，但是普遍来说亚洲人比西方人更加重视群体（当然也因个人而有差异）。对于德国的伴侣，他们如何组织他们的闲暇时间、家庭、社交和工作时间？

答：这是一个很好的问题。我认为人都需要自己的空间和自由。德国的伴侣会想要一起度过他们的闲暇时间，但是他们也享受各自和他们的朋友相聚。例如：德国男性也许和朋友一起去足球吧或是健身，而德国女性则是和朋友一同去喝咖啡或看电影。若是拜访家人，大部分则是一同前往。工作时间则就只是工作，当然德国人也享受和一些同事们一同享用午餐。德国人也享受午休，并借此机会放松，或是散个小步。关于闲暇时间，每个德国人当然都有不一样的方式去利用。事实上，德国人也会试着花大部分的时间陪伴自己的伴侣。德国人也同样喜欢一起去度假，去体验新的地方，一起放松。

最后我们的德国编辑也为我们作了一个小结，每一个个体当然有不同的差异，但不可否认的是，不同国家间会有不同的文化差异。通常德国的男性较有企图心且希望可以提供自己的太太和孩子好的生活。但大部分的德国男性也希望自己的太太有企图心，而德国的女性也要求自己独立，但她们也会很开心当收到先生所送的礼物。

而以上的讨论希望可以提供读者参考，当然每个人都有个体性，所以并不一定符合所有的情况，当然更没有一定的对错，只希望可以让读者更多认识德国的伴侣文化。

Written by: Serena

Pictures: Pexels

Find out how to navigate the German dating world as an expat with our helpful guide to local dating culture, etiquette, faux pas, and more.

Dating someone from a foreign country can be an exciting experience. However, it’s important to remember that relationships with people from another culture can be complicated. Different cultures around the world have different perceptions of the qualities that make someone an ideal partner. What one culture finds romantic, attractive, or polite, another culture may not.

This is where understanding the local dating culture really helps you. Fortunately, this helpful German dating guide does just that by providing the following information:Do you want to meet single expats and possibly find „the one“? Finding love as an expat can be challenging, but that’s where online dating sites can help. Expatica Dating will help you meet eligible singles in Germany and find the perfect match. Sign up for free today and start your exploration!

Overview of Dating in Germany

German dating culture is similar to other European countries. Interestingly, the number of German-foreign partners has more than doubled in the past two decades. According to local website. In fact, there were 1.5 million German expatriate couples living together in 2017, of which 1.2 million were married. This is great news if you are an expat looking for love in the country.

German newlyweds toast with beer

The average age of marriage in Germany has risen steadily over the past 27 years. On average, women marry at age 30 and men at 33. This puts Germany eighth in the list of European countries in terms of the average age at first marriage. Research also shows that marriage is becoming more popular in Germany. In fact, figures from the German Federal Statistics Office show that the total number of marriages increased from 373,655 in 2013 to 416,615 in 2018; an increase of 11.5%.

Read our guide to getting married in Germany
This may be because in 2017, registered partnership for same-sex or opposite-sex couples was no longer an option; when same-sex marriage was legalized. Therefore, marriage is the only legal form of union in Germany. There is also growing acceptance of LGBTQI+ marriage. In fact, more than 10,000 same-sex couples have tied the knot since it became legal in 2017.